Friday, April 19, 2013

Nothing Was The Same.

Drake be dropping real shit even in the titles, bul. I swear, aside from my friends cause I keep a tight circle, nothing is the fucking same as in HS. First year even. I got so much going thru my head as the Coltrane is playing. I have about 2 more pages of a philosophy paper to write but I'm not sure if it's going to happen right now. I'm in a blogging type of mood. *Thinks of my love for In a Sentimental Mood by Coltrane, himself.* .. *Now Playing.* This is really only the beginning of the changes. Bullshit aside. I'm lowkey looking for a reason to change some shit, man. All this goddamn unnecessary weight on my shoulders. The constant feeling of having to be a closed book. Shit ain't healthy, man. SIck of feeling caged in a public persona. I'm sure that is why when I'm drinking I'm so ridic, because I walk around repressed. I mean, I can't say "fuck" twice around my girlfriend. I feel like I'm sleeping with a bowtie on. Brothers are in jail and I really cannot bring myself to write them. We were just living in the same house. All in love with music, shooting the shit. Now one is dead. I still don't think I addressed my feelings with that. I mean, sure, we weren't the closest but that was my twin. We could have been so much closer. My big dawg Travis is facing life. My fucking heart Terrell is battling a murder charge. . And the other day, my colleagues felt like they needed to tell me, "you have a good life." I smiled and thanked them. I knew they knew nothing. They merely complimented me on my acting skills. But then again, maybe they're right. Maybe I should relish in the fact that I am the one that got out. . Whatever, yo. In my tomorrow, nothing was the same.

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