Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Fuck Society. Fuck Genetics.

How fucked up is it that I think my life would be 75% better if only one thing was much different.

One thing. So little yet so much. All the rest of my accolades and characteristics matter not. smh

It interferes with all aspects of my life.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I want my legs, Goddammit!

It's like I have seen 10 trailers for this Amazing ass movie that doesn't have a release date.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Anticipation - "Track 5"

*Not on my part, btw.*

If ever you decided to indulge.. Free me. Please. It seems as the pages of the calendar fall, I find the possibility more plausible. One person being the perfect contestant. It's either insecurities, paranoia, or an oh so wicked combination of both.

**May be weird, but I can faintly remember this show where a guy would jack it to a picture of his wife and his boys found that repulsive. I didn't understand it before, but now it totally makes sense; for the same reasons I don't like pda. I know I have access to you when the time is right, I don't need to or desire to revel in fantastical activities.**

****Edited for the same reason "4 y.o. little boy" was edited****

FACT #1911

I take on a lot of external shit as personal battles; Complicating and dramatizing my otherwise easy going life.

I pretend to care about a lot of shit in my life.

A lot.

Maybe I'll use the change as excuse to be more of me. Sometimes I just wanna tell people the following:

1. Well, shit. Fuck it.
2. Dude, I don't care.
3. Why are you telling me this again?
4. I really don't have anything to say to you. Can we not do this small talk shit?
5. Get the fuck from round me. Please.
6. Shut yo ass up.
7. I hate you. Not like the real hate, but the 'I can't stand you enough to convince myself I actually hate you, hate'
8. You have no idea what you're talking about do you?
9. Bro. I don't fucking know. Ask the homie, Google.
10. Are you even trying? Fuck outta here.
+1. (Rare but repeated recently) Bitch. lmao I don't want cho ass! hahaha You think way too highly of our acquaintance.

No lie, I think all of these, at Least twice a week. But I try to be patient and understanding bc one of my pet peeves is being treated with shortness.. in any aspect of life, really.

Bad Trip

I was supposed to be writing a Philos paper. Hopefully I don't crash before I can get out 4 pages.

Listening to Ms. Hill

Discussion Leader: How many of y'all have ever been in love?
Boy in class: With my dog!

RIP Dee-Bo.
No amount of Philos or science can tell me that I didn't have a preternatural connection to that dog.

If you looked at that picture and you only saw headphones, you were remiss. What you saw was my lifeline. What you saw was the tourniquet for my bleeding heart. What you saw was the nicotine for my rattled nerves. What you saw was an essential pathway to the one thing that could never betray me or leave me unsatisfied, for more than momentarily. Music.

Noo, no.. You did not see Sony noise canceling headphones. . You saw the physical manifestation for why I breathe.

This (specific) beautiful piece of technology has brought my music to me in such a majestic manner, for the last (almost) three years. It helped manifest my insatiable infatuation with music. I have listened to other devices and their inferiority is painstakingly obvious.

I am so thankful for this piece of machinery. The time is coming for me to get another pair and I may just cop these again. I need to write a letter to Sony and express my appreciation.
...With MY history..

the fact that she made me uncomfortable??....

either we Realllllly not there, orr.... I'm changing.

Don't know, bruh.

Ain't that shit illegal anyway? Obama put an end to that. 
Revise: Nope. That's just for the minors with their pix.

XXX (30)

take it off baby, bend over let me see it
you looking for a real pussy eater I can be it.

*Pimp C line tho.

I don't talk enough.

So many resources going unused, daily.
Marci spontaneously made that clear to me. It's so crazy how God works. How did she know I would be coming from a Think Tank with so much Black excellence, having rubbed elbows and SoulShaked with so many affluent Black professionals?

There is a God.
My body is a vessel for his work. Designed like a Drivers Ed vehicle.

Who's on the left? Who's on the right?


I just need someone to talk to.

I am not happy with anything. That I can see.

I'm dancing with the pink again and I have so many feels.

I'm listening to Danny Brown.

I'm about to spill my guts to someone undeserving while writing a Philosophy paper.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Oh yeahh. Didn't this start off as music blog? lol

I'm not posting links. . just cover arts. Use your google.

That oughta hold ya. 

Wise Words from a decent man.

"A [young] relationship isn't anything but two people complaining to each other."



He had to be talking from experience.

Lying on a Beautiful Thing

One of my buddies doesn't know a secret of mine, so he continuously told me that I wasn't something that I am today.
Now I haven't come out to the world yet (woahh. Not gay..moving on.) so I couldn't say anything but it was burning me up. He was tryna shit on my organization. (all in good fun, but I was starting to take offense.) When I am backed into a corner and I have a good defense, you will NOT be able to shut me up. [unless you try to talk over me. I hate that shit.]. So I had to just talk from a fan/outsider's standpoint..
But ain't nobody fucking with my Org.
Best ever, Yo.
Today one of my mother's co-workers stared deeply into my eyes and told me I was her blessing. She literally said she felt blessed to see me. I was flattered, honored, and almost freaked out. Like I have never felt so much genuine pride and just well wishes from someone outside of my family.

She almost teared up just seeing me yo.. And this lady hasn't known me for over 6 years, maybe even less.

And she's Afro-Latina so she had that accent too so it really felt spiritual. Nottt ready for that type of love and admiration.
Prolly cause I still feel like I ain't shit yet.

I hate the way my mother thinks...

About everything.

She's a racial bigot and can be very insensitive and mean.

Gotta love moms, tho. She's the only one I'll ever have and she loves me to death.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My First Time

I had intentions of calling you for months. I initially fell victim to the demonized narrative being disseminated about you. I internalized it. I personally denied you vehemently. Until my mentor opened my eyes about your pink bodied beauty. He told me you're quite alright. Although, he has been wrong before, his wisdom has never harmed me. You were always right there, waiting for me to come around. Last night was our first dance. I was scared of you, so I asked you to hold back and only show me one side.. You had two left feet. You actually bored me to sleep at first, but then I saw the other half of you. . I soared. You showed me what you were really about. And you didn't  disappoint.

But love.. I don't need you. I might call again for closure, but you are far from wifing material. Don't get used to my presence, cause I damn sure won't get used to yours.

Great Compliment Today

"You're the most knowledge seeking dude I know." - The Big Bro

I live for comments like this to be made about me. .
Just saying.

Sunday, May 5, 2013


Things Were Never The Same.