If I were a rich man, I'd have a 24K gold toilet and egyptian cotton for toilet tissue.

Time is currently my currency and I waste SO much of it.

There is no way I would be frugal with money.

Where's that krazy pink bitch when you need her?

...And I want to greet you with "I love you"...

After three years, it's still the same threat and issue. We're growing so much, but we aren't growing together. We aren't growing apart either. We've successfully become OutKast. Growing independently, separately. We're partners without being partners.

You really out here thinking hoes is perfect but they probably farting into their hand and smelling it. Or real life starving themselves to look sorta petite.

The quicker you realize that everyone has their flaws, the better you'll be.

All the praise. All the responsibility. All the love.

And I still ain't shit.

Why don't you stop being you?

We have too much in common and I'm sick of it. .

So yeah, go ahead and rearrange your interests.

Fuck Society. Fuck Genetics.

How fucked up is it that I think my life would be 75% better if only one thing was much different.

One thing. So little yet so much. All the rest of my accolades and characteristics matter not. smh

It interferes with all aspects of my life.
Social
Emotional
Dating
Everything.

I want my legs, Goddammit!

It's like I have seen 10 trailers for this Amazing ass movie that doesn't have a release date.

Anticipation - "Track 5"

*Not on my part, btw.*

If ever you decided to indulge.. Free me. Please. It seems as the pages of the calendar fall, I find the possibility more plausible. One person being the perfect contestant. It's either insecurities, paranoia, or an oh so wicked combination of both.

**May be weird, but I can faintly remember this show where a guy would jack it to a picture of his wife and his boys found that repulsive. I didn't understand it before, but now it totally makes sense; for the same reasons I don't like pda. I know I have access to you when the time is right, I don't need to or desire to revel in fantastical activities.**


****Edited for the same reason "4 y.o. little boy" was edited****

FACT #1911

I take on a lot of external shit as personal battles; Complicating and dramatizing my otherwise easy going life.

TTL

I pretend to care about a lot of shit in my life.

A lot.

Maybe I'll use the change as excuse to be more of me. Sometimes I just wanna tell people the following:

1. Well, shit. Fuck it.
2. Dude, I don't care.
3. Why are you telling me this again?
4. I really don't have anything to say to you. Can we not do this small talk shit?
5. Get the fuck from round me. Please.
6. Shut yo ass up.
7. I hate you. Not like the real hate, but the 'I can't stand you enough to convince myself I actually hate you, hate'
8. You have no idea what you're talking about do you?
9. Bro. I don't fucking know. Ask the homie, Google.
10. Are you even trying? Fuck outta here.
+1. (Rare but repeated recently) Bitch. lmao I don't want cho ass! hahaha You think way too highly of our acquaintance.

No lie, I think all of these, at Least twice a week. But I try to be patient and understanding bc one of my pet peeves is being treated with shortness.. in any aspect of life, really.

Bad Trip

I was supposed to be writing a Philos paper. Hopefully I don't crash before I can get out 4 pages.

Listening to Ms. Hill

Discussion Leader: How many of y'all have ever been in love?
Boy in class: With my dog!

RIP Dee-Bo.
No amount of Philos or science can tell me that I didn't have a preternatural connection to that dog.

If you looked at that picture and you only saw headphones, you were remiss. What you saw was my lifeline. What you saw was the tourniquet for my bleeding heart. What you saw was the nicotine for my rattled nerves. What you saw was an essential pathway to the one thing that could never betray me or leave me unsatisfied, for more than momentarily. Music.

Noo, no.. You did not see Sony noise canceling headphones. . You saw the physical manifestation for why I breathe.

This (specific) beautiful piece of technology has brought my music to me in such a majestic manner, for the last (almost) three years. It helped manifest my insatiable infatuation with music. I have listened to other devices and their inferiority is painstakingly obvious.

I am so thankful for this piece of machinery. The time is coming for me to get another pair and I may just cop these again. I need to write a letter to Sony and express my appreciation.

...With MY history..


the fact that she made me uncomfortable??....

either we Realllllly not there, orr.... I'm changing.

Don't know, bruh.

Ain't that shit illegal anyway? Obama put an end to that. 
Revise: Nope. That's just for the minors with their pix.

XXX (30)

take it off baby, bend over let me see it
you looking for a real pussy eater I can be it.

*Pimp C line tho.

I don't talk enough.

So many resources going unused, daily.
Shit.
Marci spontaneously made that clear to me. It's so crazy how God works. How did she know I would be coming from a Think Tank with so much Black excellence, having rubbed elbows and SoulShaked with so many affluent Black professionals?

There is a God.
My body is a vessel for his work. Designed like a Drivers Ed vehicle.

Who's on the left? Who's on the right?

fuckkkkkkkkkk

I just need someone to talk to.

I am not happy with anything. That I can see.

I'm dancing with the pink again and I have so many feels.

I'm listening to Danny Brown.

I'm about to spill my guts to someone undeserving while writing a Philosophy paper.

Oh yeahh. Didn't this start off as music blog? lol

I'm not posting links. . just cover arts. Use your google.

That oughta hold ya. 

Wise Words from a decent man.

"A [young] relationship isn't anything but two people complaining to each other."

:-|

......

He had to be talking from experience.

Lying on a Beautiful Thing

One of my buddies doesn't know a secret of mine, so he continuously told me that I wasn't something that I am today.
Now I haven't come out to the world yet (woahh. Not gay..moving on.) so I couldn't say anything but it was burning me up. He was tryna shit on my organization. (all in good fun, but I was starting to take offense.) When I am backed into a corner and I have a good defense, you will NOT be able to shut me up. [unless you try to talk over me. I hate that shit.]. So I had to just talk from a fan/outsider's standpoint..
But ain't nobody fucking with my Org.
Best ever, Yo.

Today one of my mother's co-workers stared deeply into my eyes and told me I was her blessing. She literally said she felt blessed to see me. I was flattered, honored, and almost freaked out. Like I have never felt so much genuine pride and just well wishes from someone outside of my family.

She almost teared up just seeing me yo.. And this lady hasn't known me for over 6 years, maybe even less.

And she's Afro-Latina so she had that accent too so it really felt spiritual. Nottt ready for that type of love and admiration.
Prolly cause I still feel like I ain't shit yet.

I hate the way my mother thinks...

About everything.

She's a racial bigot and can be very insensitive and mean.

Gotta love moms, tho. She's the only one I'll ever have and she loves me to death.

My First Time

I had intentions of calling you for months. I initially fell victim to the demonized narrative being disseminated about you. I internalized it. I personally denied you vehemently. Until my mentor opened my eyes about your pink bodied beauty. He told me you're quite alright. Although, he has been wrong before, his wisdom has never harmed me. You were always right there, waiting for me to come around. Last night was our first dance. I was scared of you, so I asked you to hold back and only show me one side.. You had two left feet. You actually bored me to sleep at first, but then I saw the other half of you. . I soared. You showed me what you were really about. And you didn't  disappoint.

But love.. I don't need you. I might call again for closure, but you are far from wifing material. Don't get used to my presence, cause I damn sure won't get used to yours.

Great Compliment Today

"You're the most knowledge seeking dude I know." - The Big Bro

I live for comments like this to be made about me. .
Just saying.

9:23:40

Things Were Never The Same.

Real life shit. I was swollen for a week.

I will never get an Instagram. If I do and I find this post. . I will delete it instantaneously. That's my word.

EDIT: 11/25
I now have one and I just got a 100 likes on a picture. I'm not deleting shit. I am now in a frat and need to connect with people for advertising purposes.

I feel like. .

Bo Jackson. -only. Tampa Bay never did that fuck shit and I went straight to the League and completely forgot about baseball. Sure I'm excelling and at the top in a way, but I'm so far from what makes me happy. I often wonder does my glimpse of success even matter.

I wish..

You weren't such a hypebeast bitch. Perhaps one day when you mature you'll realize the drastic err in your ways.

Nothing Was The Same.

Drake be dropping real shit even in the titles, bul. I swear, aside from my friends cause I keep a tight circle, nothing is the fucking same as in HS. First year even. I got so much going thru my head as the Coltrane is playing. I have about 2 more pages of a philosophy paper to write but I'm not sure if it's going to happen right now. I'm in a blogging type of mood. *Thinks of my love for In a Sentimental Mood by Coltrane, himself.* .. *Now Playing.* This is really only the beginning of the changes. Bullshit aside. I'm lowkey looking for a reason to change some shit, man. All this goddamn unnecessary weight on my shoulders. The constant feeling of having to be a closed book. Shit ain't healthy, man. SIck of feeling caged in a public persona. I'm sure that is why when I'm drinking I'm so ridic, because I walk around repressed. I mean, I can't say "fuck" twice around my girlfriend. I feel like I'm sleeping with a bowtie on. Brothers are in jail and I really cannot bring myself to write them. We were just living in the same house. All in love with music, shooting the shit. Now one is dead. I still don't think I addressed my feelings with that. I mean, sure, we weren't the closest but that was my twin. We could have been so much closer. My big dawg Travis is facing life. My fucking heart Terrell is battling a murder charge. . And the other day, my colleagues felt like they needed to tell me, "you have a good life." I smiled and thanked them. I knew they knew nothing. They merely complimented me on my acting skills. But then again, maybe they're right. Maybe I should relish in the fact that I am the one that got out. . Whatever, yo. In my tomorrow, nothing was the same.

ifhy.

But I love you. I'm good at keeping my emotions bubbled. You're good at being perfect. I'm good at being troubled.

dta.

While I find it necessary to trust my brothers more, there are some women that are freaking scandalous. I mean, it makes you want to just write the whole sex off as deviant and conniving. Two women in particular are so unscrupulous that it baffles me. I almost want to eradicate communication with them. . I don't trust women. I don't have a reason to.