As I contemplate when I was to reach out to you,
I saw you.
Outside a party.
Fucked my world up.
After you spotted me, you said hello. I said a hug is appropriate. you agreed.
We hugged and you asked me how I had been. Not more than 24 hours prior I brought you up in a 1-on-1. Not more than 5 hours prior had I thought of you.
"how have you been?"
Alex, I think about you everyday. My true sentiments. From a drunk mind comes sober thoughts.
Otherwise I would have bullshitted.
Respecting her party time, I warned her of the conditions of the party and told her to be careful.
Avalanche of feelings.
What happens in between is immaterial.
I addressed you before I left.
Hugged you close. told you how beautiful you still are. and brought up the fact that it had been 2months plus since I heard from you.
I told you of the next party. you said it doesn't seem like a big deal. I said it never is.
Despite my lack of complete sobriety and crucial times speaking with you, one vital thought was not verbalized.
To the woman I fell in love with. .
I miss you.