Soon,

I'll explode. I just hope that I'm in a room. Alone. Hold up, these new blogger settings make me feel like the most emo ass person ever. It's almost ridiculous. I guess everything in the world must adapt. Mature. Change, but fuck. Nothing is familiar. And whomever thought making the default font into typewriter would make it look cooler is fucking wrong. Dead wrong. I feel like a whining ass reporter from the 50's writing about the approaching apocalypse. Shit is not cool. I need hip looking settings to feel like I'm not a loser. Speaking of being a loser. I've spent a lot of years feeling like I was one. I no longer have the time to be. I'm the leader of men and young women, and I have to set an example. If your leader is a loser, then you're a following piece of shit. And a loser. So I need to fucking win. And win some more. I will. I thank God for making me, me. I know it's best that I hold in what I do, so I continue to do so, against the wishes of my girl, but shit, even she doesn't know what she's asking for when she says 'live for you'. I know what's best for me and everyone and that is to keep on how I'm going. If I blow my top and expire from brain cancer or some shit, at least people will have nice things to say about me at my funeral when they are talking to my ashes...